The festiveness of Radiant has gone downhill since it's beginning, but once again, Emily shall raise her cold hands to type a hippy happy delight of a page. I will inform you on ways to snag your own valentine (o.k.a your Calamine Cutie, if you don't recongnize oka, it means otherwise known as. Tee hee). Since Emily's world lies somewhere between silly and serious, you're going to get a mix of both. So here goes for the 14 ways to snag the attention of that special person in your life.

1. The gutsy wink

To achieve the sharky wink, it takes guts. The wink lets all the barriers between friend and a whoo hoo get broken down. Your wink can be either subtle or forbiddenly strong, knocking your nose down to your cheek. It can be cute as a button or ferocious as a big can of pork and beans. Your wink reflects you, use it wisely.

The right timing is also needed. You wouldn't want to perform your wink at some crucial moment, such as when the teacher calls on you in mid winkifiedness or right after school when your hearthrob is using the phone to call someone. It could interrupt the whole phone call and set Mr. Nonchalant begging for your love and devotion on his knees. (Oh my my my!). Pick a time when you are feeling extra gutsy, and when your guy is either alone or looking hungrily towards the chips in the snack bar.

2. The casual nudge in the hallway

Don't want your guy begging in front of the whole grade for you? Why don't you try the nudge. It works....like a nudge. It can either mean knock him out of his socks love or a pieface smack down on the dirty floor. Don't push him down, just nudge, like you would if you were tapping someone on the shoulder.

This also means timing. Don't do it if he's (heaven forbid) kissing his girlfriend or running down the hall to get to the next period. You wouldn't want to start an epidemic. When you do the nudge nudge, say something like a coy "Hi.." or "Oh! I'm sorry." Smile. Smile like you have never smiled before, almost like when your smiling towards a really loud person that scares you. If that doesn't suit you, then open your mouth really really really wide and stick your tongue half way out, and say hi that way.

3. Say hello and mean it

All right then, so you don't want to touch the fellow aye? Well then the hi method works, but only sometimes. The thing is, when you say hi, it's usually either to your friends ("Oh hi, Kimmy bear!") or to someone you really could care less about talking to at that moment ("Oh hi.."). When you say hi to a hearthrob, you really have to get it right ("Uh..Hi Joey Lucas Wermerhiner") Heh heh heh, I wouldn't say it that way. It would be like saying hello to a teacher, and you don't want that. Timing doesn't really matter in this one, unless for some odd reason he snagged a girlfriend which in that case you might not want to trap yourself in that. In all other cases, try doing it when he's alone or when you have a purpose. Don't walk all the way from where you sit (point A) all the way across the school to where he sits (point B) just to say hi. At least I wouldn't, you make your own judgement calls on these though. Also remember to say something along with your "Hi." Either
flirtatious ("You look so dreamy today!")
wanting ("Can I borrow one of your Sharpies, they sure are black!")
boring ("How are you?")
academic ("How did you do on that test in whipping cream today?")
scenic ("The sky sure is blue, or gray, or black, or white")
serious ("What do you think about the Dow Jones today?")
moving ("My dog would like to go on a walk, would you like to come along?")
moving ("Your eyes are made of the many lilypads in the pond of life")
scientific ("The molecular structure of your head is actually the same as mine! We have so many things in common!")

4. The aroma

Nothin' says love like a big box of chocolates right? Well, now that you don't want to go for the direct route of shoving your tongue down his...er..saying hello. The aroma is a bit harder because everyone has their tastes. Even a universal thing like chocolate has people who are strictly against cocoa beans (and that is NOT me). So pick a scent that you can imagine that dreambug likes. Something like rose or vanilla will do the trick if you don't know. Beware though, smells don't always work. As a matter a fact, some people can even faint when they smell a certain one....

The way to go about this does have to do with the sceme of things, even though the timing doesn't have to matter. After all, a person does smell at all times of the day, huh? The best way would be the casual pencil grab in front of his nose. But who wants to borrow just a dreamy guy's pencil there, most of you probably want to steal his heart! So try something else like getting really close so you bump into him and he falls and then has to go to the hospital and all he can remember was the fabulous white chocolate aroma surrounding him at his accident....or maybe go for a more subtle approach. It's up to you.

5. The valentine
If Valentine's is all about valentines, why don't you slip a note into his locker telling your passion for him, or perhaps just a simple but heart grabbing "Bee Mine, you buzzer of a boy!" I know you all are laughing at my pun there. The valentine can come in different forms, but most of them are written. Some sort of secret admirer valentine will do. Don't write anything poetic on it, just say something enchantingly sweet. I don't know what to do next, but wink at him as you are walking by the valentine reader and then maybe he will notice (if he's looking your way) that you're the girl of his utmost appeal.

6. The note
I don't know how to advise you write this infamous note, but make it mysterious. Tell the guy to write back at one of your friends lockers so he doesn't absolutely know it's you. Who knows. It's a good idea, but this is one that has to be done creatively and from you. Yes, you.

7. The pick-up line
Whew, now Emily is getting silly. These pick up lines are guarunteed to make people laugh..whoever it is. Pick up lines are usually a last resort, and so if you aren't on a jokey term with this guy, don't try it. They are just a bit on the corny side:

• "If I were in charge of the alphabet, I would put U and I together!"
• "Are your feet sore?" (no) "Because you've been running through my head all day!"
• (CORNMIESTER: check the person you are trying to pick up's shirt tag. Person says something like,"What are you doing?") "Checking to see if you were made in heaven."
• "Did it hurt?" (what?) "When you fell from heaven."
• "Is your daddy a theif?" (Uh, no) "Then how did he take all the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes?"
• "Is there an airport nearby or is that my heart taking off?"
• "Would you carry my books for me?" (oh dear, it's school girl em sneaking up on us)
• "You must be an alien, because there's nothing else like you on earth!"

The other 7 ways
8. Impressions, impress him my doing something crazy..say like jumping off the desk in front of Mrs. Teachthekids
9. Jumping in front of him and saying "Here I am, the light of your life!"
10. Hugs..
11. Pin him down and tell him he is your valentine no matter what.
12. The coy smile (with attributed nudges and winks and hello?'s)
13. The eyebrow raise, or nod (who knows, it could work!)
14. ARM GESTURES! (e.g. peace signs, hang loose! hahahaha!)

This girl is always on the look for something spoony. Stop by again for more pickup lines er other fun cheese.