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Welcome to the Clothes Ward. The talented nurse is in here to feed you applesauces of T-shirts and milk made of shoes. Yes, we know these sound awfully disgusting, but you will be thankful when you get the treatment you need. The T-shirt Operating Room Is up the elevator on the main floor.

The Pants Recovery Room is up the elevator five floors past the Jewelry Gift Shop

The Intensive Shoe Care is on the top floor. It is right next to theAccesories waiting room

We hope you navigate Beauty Hospital well. If you have any questions or comments, refer to the Reference Board and complain to the Desk Clerk


T-shirt Operation Room

You've got 1,000 at home. Why of course they are the infamous t-shirt. The comfy, wompfy feel of them is irresistable. With these operations that cost nothing, you will be able to use them all. Dr. Shirtus is in. She will be talking to you now.

Thift Store T-shirts

Why pay fifteen dollars for a plain white shirt when you can get your Thift Store T-shirts Why pay fifteen dollars for a plain white shirt when you can get your own creativity in there. Next time you are passin by that Goodwill or Salvation Army, stop in. They have some really good deals. I know what some of you might be thinking: These clothes are gross. But some of the shirts are so cute and neato lookin you won't even care. Check by the men's rack and find a label and color you like. I always find that these labels are more neat. The shirts will be really big, but you can fix that next with the sew up trick. Who cares if it doesn't work out, you only paid $2 for it!

The sew up trick I want a nice fitting shirt, so I use this trick because most of the shirts that you get at the thrift stores are like XL or even XXL. I know those shirts are really big when you get them. But if you know how to do something really simple with the sewing machine, or even by hand if you feel like it, you can make them smaller.

1. Get out the sewing machine and some thread (it doesn't have to match either :0)

2. Try on the shirt inside out and mark with a pen where you want to cut off the sleeves and bottom. Do this carefully to save the shirt. Pinch in the sides to see how tight you want it. I do it by eye, but you might want to pin it or mark it with a pen.

3. Cut off the sleeves and bottom where you marked them.

4. Sew up the sides in a straight line where you marked your little line. It doesn't have to be perfect, but make sure you go up the sleeves too, and do it inside out.

Whalla! you go a neat lookin, personalized shirt of your very own! own creativity in there. Next time you are passin by that Goodwill or Salvation Army, stop in. They have some really good deals. I know what some of you might be thinking: These clothes are gross. But some of the shirts are so cute and neato lookin you won't even care. Check by the men's rack and find a label and color you like. I always find that these labels are more neat. The shirts will be really big, but you can fix that next with the sew up trick. Who cares if it doesn't work out, you only paid $2 for it! Besides, if it doesn't work, why not make a patch out of the label and sew it on you backpack or hang it on the wall?

The sew up trick

I want a nice fitting shirt, so I use this trick because most of the shirts that you get at the thrift stores are like XL or even XXL. I know those shirts are really big when you get them. But if you know how to do something really simple with the sewing machine, or even by hand if you feel like it, you can make them smaller.

1. Get out the sewing machine and some thread (it doesn't have to match either :0)

2. Try on the shirt inside out and mark with a pen where you want to cut off the sleeves and bottom. Do this carefully to save the shirt. Pinch in the sides to see how tight you want it. I do it by eye, but you might want to pin it or mark it with a pen.

3. Cut off the sleeves and bottom where you marked them.

4. Sew up the sides in a straight line where you marked your little line. It doesn't have to be perfect, but make sure you go up the sleeves too, and do it inside out.

Whalla! you go a neat lookin, personalized shirt of your very own!

Other operations

GiRl POwEr-Show off your girlyness with a cool Charlies Angel's shirt or some sort of retroish thing. I wish I could find an: "I dream of Jeannie," or a "Bewitched" shirt.

Cuffs on sleeves- are they cuffs? Not really. Ya know those shirts from the 80's that have the stripe of color on the end of the sleeve? That's what I'm talkin about. Pair these with your carpenter pants or cords to make ya look extra neato.

Mail order madness- Try ordering a t-shirt from the back of your sister's Mr. Bubble bottle. These shirts cost about $5-$10 a piece, but might come in a baby tee kind of size. I have also seen mail order t-shirts on many cereal and cracker boxes also.

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Pants Recovery Room

What's goin on with those pants? Well, you are here now. The nurses around here will give you the dirt on your condition and how to get rid of it.

CASE #1: Pants-too-tightis (in the waist)

We've all had the experience of coming home from the department store where you shopped all day looking for the perfect pants, and finding out the pants you bought were too tight. There are ways to deal with this, but be sure to think it over because it is permanent.

1. Try on your pants and MAKE SURE that you can't wear them. (If you can't get the button closed..they are too tight).

2. Get out some thread and some groovy fabric.

3. Cut out of the back of the waistline little rectangles that look like this |______| |______|.

4. Cut out two rectangles that are about 2 inches bigger on the sides, and one on the bottom (for leeway). You might want to just make a big square and then fold it over for a less messy look.

5. Sew those into the rectangles so that the colorful fabric stretches out the rectangles. Make it look nice!

6. Try on the pants and see if they fit, and then if they don't then try again.

CASE #2: Long Pants Disease

Aack! Your mother says it's hemmin time, and YOU have to do it. There are other options. The first one is the least drastic and the last one is the most. Nurse Hemmings will explain these to you.

1. Staples and Safety Pins- mostly temporary (like glints!). Fold the pants under and attach safety pins or staples.

2. Hemming- ask your mom for other options, but the easiest one is to try on inside out and then fold over. Mark where the fold ends. Then take off, smooth out, and sew stitches like this / / / / / / / / to seal the fold.

3. Cutting off-ooh! you go for it only if you are absolutely sure that your eye can mark it well. Try on and mark where you want to cut off. DON'T MAKE IT TOO SHORT!!! Then get out the scissors and snip away.

CASE #3:Pants too tightis

Do you love those pants from last year, but they just don't fit anymore? Well the nurses can help you out with this one.

1. Make sure you want to do this, and make sure you can sew.

2. Cut the pants in half by the sides. (so one peice has the back pockets and the other has the zipper).

3. Get out neat lookin fabric and cut out strips that extend the length of the pants but are about 1 inch wider.

4. Get out the sewing machine and sew the strips into your pants.

5. YAAAAYY!!

CASE #4:Boots don't look rightis

Do your neat boots not look right with your pants? Cut slits! Cut two snips in the sides 2 inches into the bottom sides. Do it on both legs of the pants. Your boots should look better.

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Intensive Shoe Care

This is your lifeline! The intensive shoe care specialists are here to help. If your condition isn't critical, you can stay here anyways. These tips are up and coming, and stupendous. First they will tell you which shoes ought to go with which situation. Then they will tell you which shoes they recommend. Remember, you can always recommend types of shoes or your personal tips. The inventory sometimes runs low.

Which outfits to wear with which shoes?
OUTFIT WEAR DON'T WEAR
Short dress/skirt with tights boots, black/brown Mary Janes, short heels tennis shoes, platforms, slipper like shoes
Short dress/skirt without tights mary janes, boots, loafers tennis shoes, high heels, platforms, sandals
Shorts tennis shoes, doc martens, sandals heels, dressy shoes
Jeans tennis shoes, boots, loafers heels or dressy shoes, slipper like shoes
long skirts boots, mary janes, loafers, sandals, heels tennis shoes, plat forms

Recommendations

The shoe nurses recommend the following shoes. They tested all of them before they were put out to the public.

1. Doc Martens-expensive, but practicle and reliable. They tested well. Doc Martens are very comfortable and have from 3-20 eyelets. They look good with any outfit and never really "wear out".

2. Mary Janes/loafers-These types of shoes look good as casual to dressy occasions. They are usually comfortable (depending on the brand), and look good with almost everything except shorts.

3. Vans, airwalks-very comfortable. Moderately expensive, but go good with pants and whatever else you want to pair them with. They don't work with the feminine look.

4. Birkenstocks- give this classic a try, but usually only in the summer. They are comfy, go with most everything casual, and have the toe-nail show off potential. They are kind of expensive if you get the real thing, but "Fakenstocks" sell at your local Payless shoes for a mere 10-12 smackaroos.

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patients have gotten advice from the Clothes Ward